(づ°‿°)づ

is anyone else having problems with reblog/like notifications not showing on your dash? I mean, some do but most of them do not.

this shouldn’t bug me as much as it does

if your automatic music player loads faster than the actual content on your blog, you’re missing out on 90% of your potential readers.

browsing tumblr late at night

to whom it may concern,

lets get it clear from the start, I’d like to think I use tumblr differently than the “norm”. I do not follow back. (this is the part where I am hoping that the followers who are waiting for a follow-back goes ahead and unfollows me)

I’m sorry, I don’t want to sound like a dick or anything but I can’t ruin my tumblr experience by following everything that moves. I am not saying your blog is bad, heavens no! I just hate having my dashboard spammed with repeatedly reblogged stuff over and over, I am one of those people that when I get on tumblr, I want to scroll through everything new that I have missed until I reach the post that I last ended on and the more people I follow, the more of those posts I have to scroll through making it less of an enjoyment and more of a chore. This being said, if I ever have time to go through my followers, I would definitely check you all out but I am lazy.

I’ve been on tumblr for nearly three years now, and right now, I’m only following 50 people and I feel like that’s a good number for me.

Tumblr isn’t another platform for your popularity contests so please don’t treat it as such. (they got rid of tumblarity for a reason!) I would rather have 3 followers that enjoy the content I spew out of my blog than 1,000 people that simply scroll over your posts and not give them a second look.

I hate how there’s this unwritten obligation for some people that if you have to follow back someone who follows you. This is completely stupid, follow blogs that you enjoy, end of story.

To my followers that I am not following: sorry I can’t be a part of your follower count.

To the people I might unfollow in the future: sorry my tastes have changed

And to the people I have unfollowed due to inactivity: sor- well you’re inactive anyway so you’re probably not reading this.

CATS

how to become tumblr famous (a step-by-step guide for dumbasses)

1. create a fresh blog with a new email and everything.
2. think of a name that fits your niche of your blog. nothing personal like your own name, and nothing vague like xxvioletskies10029. all the cool blogs have “fuckyeah” in front of them so if you want to have a cool blog, do that. example: fuckyeahgiraffesthatareridingunicyclesonhighway19.tumblr.com
3. oh yeah, determine a niche for your blog, I recommend posting funny shit, memes, cute shit, hot dogs, boobies, etc. those are what gets lots of notes! and we all want lots of notes right??? fuck yeah we do.
4. I will assume you are choosing a blog that focuses on funny images from here on out. Now, post a few memes/funny posts on your new blog. I’ll explain why later.
5. Now here’s the boring ass part, FOLLOW FUCKING EVERYBODY. If you follow someone, most likely they will check your blog out and follow back if they like what they see (thus the reason for posting a few posts before hand). Now lets do the math, say you followed 1,000,000 people, even if only 1 out of 100 people followed you back, you would have fucking 10,000 followers! HORY SHET!
6. advanced level tip: if you want more meaningful followers that will actually enjoy your posts then try to find a popular post within your chosen niche and look at all the people that have liked/reblogged that post and follow them, if they liked that post chances are they’ll like your blog kinda thing you know?
7. Now just keep posting shit. 
8. also reblogging shit would be good too but don’t reblog it from the original source, look for the latest person who has reblogged the post and reblog it from them instead. why? because if you reblog it from them, ALL the people who have reblogged it before will see YOUR BLOG on their dashboard which might prompt them to check your blog and follow.
9. just keep posting shit
10. and following other shitty blogs
11. OH YEAH! you should always tag your posts with vague but relevant words like “cute”, “funny”, or “dick bag fuck”

well there you have it, hopefully by now you’ll have the most popular and meaningless blog in ALL THE INTERWEBS!

you’re welcome.

sometimes I like to search the tag “follow train” and laugh at all the losers

When a post that I have liked a long time ago shows up on my dashboard

dear people who have autoplaying music on their tumblr,

WHY? it’s like you don’t want people to read through your posts because why would you do that, WHY??? If I want to listen to music, I’ll press play myself. I don’t want the same 10 seconds of a song replaying over and over every time I go to the next page.

I’ve been noticing a lot of random blogs liking and reblogging some of my stuff,

and when I go on their blog they’re filled with ads and stuff. I’m guessing it’s some sort of crazy scheme to make money.

hmmm